Time to get professional

Portfolio picture taken by Andrea Brinkley

Am I seriously ready to have a business card?

With just about a year to go until I graduate, it's probably time for me to start thinking about the next step. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever see the day when the next step would even be visible. It has been such a long hard process, and here's a little secret: I never started school with the intentions of finishing. I did, but it was all dreams and nothing concrete. To be completely honest, I started school to have something to do until I got married again. Well, that hasn't happened and regardless of my motives, I am so glad that I did. Big dreams turned into something that slowly made sense and made me see life in a better way. I know more about myself now than I did before. I have an idea of who I am, what I am not and who I hope to be some day. For so many years I allowed myself to be defined by who I was in love with, who I wanted to be like or who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. For me, college has been more about self discovery than it has been about learning architecture and design.
So, here I am. With a big plan, and a scary two years a head of me. I can't honestly say that I know where we will be living in two years. I can plan and I can dream, but I know better now. My best laid plans have been the worst ones and the hardest to let go of. The times when I have been the most blessed have been the times when I have been able to step outside of my comfort zone and do something that made little sense at all. Moving 10 hours away from my friends and family to come to Moscow made NO sense to anyone. Not even me. It was something that I just felt I had to do, and we are so much better off for it.
I will fly with whatever comes next, be proud of where we have come from and how far we've gone. I didn't do this much alone, and I won't do the next part alone either. Words will never come close to expressing the gratitude in my heart for those who have stood beside me, cheered me on, refused to baby me and pushed me harder.
As I begin to "plan" and prepare the next part of the life of my family, throw a prayer out there for me and my kids if you get the chance. I am notoriously stubborn, sometimes selfish and blind sighted. This time however, I cannot afford to be.
I have asked so much from my children. They have given up so much so that I could do this. I owe them so much and I have no idea if it's going to pay off or not. I am guessing that this is where faith comes in and I hope and pray that wherever we go from here is exactly where we were meant to be.